


When You Say That You Love Me

by bubble_bobb



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dry Humping, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Sharing a Bed, no beta heh we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubble_bobb/pseuds/bubble_bobb
Summary: He would usually just throw an arm over his waist and pull him closer or motion the younger to turn around so he could spoon him. It was friendly and he never gave it a second thought.And today is no different.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 10
Kudos: 135





	When You Say That You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello  
> I hope you enjoy  
> I wrote this while drunk so please excuse any mistakes :D  
> Lmk how you feel about this  
> Stay hydrated and goodbye ^^
> 
> (Title: BTS - Best Of Me)

Jongho always acted like he hated Hongjoong in front of their friends but it was Jongho who always came into his room late at night and cuddled up to him, whispering how tired he was that day and how comfortable his bed was.

But Hongjoong didn't mind, he knew how Jongho worked and what made him listen. He would usually just throw an arm over his waist and pull him closer or motion the younger to turn around so he could spoon him. It was friendly and he never gave it a second thought.

And today is no different.

It's late at night and Hongjoong has his eyes closed after a long time, trying hard to fall asleep. He's been trying for the past few hours but it was no use. His brain just wouldn't allow him to drift off.

He suddenly hears light footsteps outside of his bedroom and he looks over at his roommate from instinct, sighing when he seems to be fast asleep. He shuts his eyes closed again once the door creeks open, the younger's figure standing in the dark doorway.

He stands there for a moment before he lays his eyes on Hongjoong's body. He slowly and gently closes the door, turning around again to walk to the older's bed. He lifts up the covers, sliding under them and cuddling into the other man's side.

"Hyung..."

Jongho whispers and the other's heartbeat quickens. His hand then twitches when he feels Jongho's move on top of it but he doesn't do anything just yet.

It's been only about two months since he accepted his feelings for the young vocalist. It was hard, yes, but he knew he couldn't lie to himself any longer. Jongho was lovely and beautiful. Whenever he saw the younger boy or heard him singing in his room while cleaning his heart would flip and stomach turned. It hurt when he accepted it, as if his heart and brain already knew how he was feeling but decided not to letting him know right away.

He feels horrible though, knowing he's in love with someone who will never love him back. He doesn't even want to tell Jongho about his feelings. He's scared the younger would be disgusted and would stop talking to him, which would be devastating for him. He doesn't have the time for that thanks to work anyway. He's too busy with training and trying his best, and the same goes for Jongho, he knows he doesn't want to fail. He wants to follow his dreams just like the rest of them and become-

"I know you're awake."

He suddenly hears Jongho whisper, a hint of laughter hidden in his voice. Hongjoong stays silent, hoping that if he doesn't say anything Jongho will just fall asleep or go back to his room and stop torturing him like this. Does he not see what he is doing to Hongjoong with his behavior?

"Not responding? Alright."

Jongho says, slowly sitting up and taking the covers to throw them over his shoulders. Hongjoong's head spins when the younger boy throws a leg over his waist before getting up all the way and sitting in his lap. _What's_ _gotten into him today?_

He can feel Jongho's eyes on him, he can feel his intense stare that's waiting for him to open his eyes and look, confirm that Jongho won. But he doesn't open them. Not that he doesn't want to look at the younger, he does. The cute little sleepwear he has on and hair messy is the best sight on planet Earth, truly, but he wants to know how far he can make Jongho go without looking at him. As bad as that may sound. And so he remains still and silent, head facing the wall.

This all still feels like a dream to him. It just can't be real. There is no way in hell this is really happening. There's a hand sliding up his chest and he shivers a little, hearing a small giggle from above him. He should stop him, they're not alone in this bedroom, damn it, Seonghwa is right _there_. But that doesn't stop the younger from reaching one of Hongjoong's shoulders and leaning down, hot breath fanning the older man's neck.

Hongjoong knows Jongho knows he's awake, all he has to do to stop him is open his eyes and tell the other to stop. He knows Jongho would listen to him, he may act like a brat towards him sometimes but he knows when Hongjoong is serious and when the fun is over.

But when Hongjoong really thinks about it, he likes the feeling of Jongho on him, so close and so warm against his own clothed body. It would be so easy to just wrap his arms around him and hold him while telling him how he really feels. But Jongho is not like that. He doesn't like sudden affection. He doesn't like Hongjoong the way Hongjoong likes him. He never will.

"Hyung, I want you to do things to me."

He lets out a whiny whisper, so quiet the older barely hears him but his eyes finally shoot open at the sentence, eyeing Jongho's figure. Did he hear that correctly? The younger giggles again, pulling back to look at Hongjoong better.

"So you _are_ awake."

He says, letting out a quiet yelp when the older flips them over, hovering over a widely smiling Jongho with a slight frown. Hongjoong keeps his eyes on him, still in shock and surprise from the younger's words.

"What did you say?"

He whispers harshly, more awake than ever before. He completely washes out the fact that he doesn't have his own room and just focuses on Jongho and the way his expression doesn't change in the slightest. The younger looks so pretty like this, under him, giggling and looking up into Hongjoong's eyes, trapped with his arms on either side of his body.

"I said that I want you to do things to me."

He says softly, his voice and look far too innocent for the words spilling from his mouth.

"Like, kiss me, and... bite me."

Hongjoong's heart flutters, this definitely can't be real. Jongho would never ask him to do something like that. He doesn't actually mean what he is saying, does he? It's just his hormones talking to Hongjoong with Jongho's mouth, he's just horny. There is eight guys in this apartment so he knows how sexually frustrated a person can get but why wouldn't Jongho just do it by himself like everyone else? Or it's a dream. He actually fell asleep long ago and he is dreaming.

"Here,"

Jongho continues, voice barely above a whisper and he points to his neck.

"And here,"

He runs a hand across his collarbones, watching as Hongjoong's eyes narrow at the sight of newly shown skin. His heart is racing, beating so hard against his ribcage he thinks it will burst out of his chest at any given moment. The maknae is making his head spin.

"And... here."

Jongho says lastly, placing a finger on his lips. Hongjoong shakes his head, if this is a dream, he might as well just enjoy it. He knows he shouldn't, and that makes him want to do it even more. God, what is happening to him? He leans down, face just inches away from Jongho's own.

"Do it."

Jongho dares, tilting his head. Hongjoong stays still for a moment before internally shrugging and leaning down all the way. Jongho's lips are soft and warm and Hongjoong feels like he can't get enough of them. He pulls back momentarily before pressing a kiss to the corner of the younger's mouth. He continues in giving him quick pecks, only stopping and kissing him properly when Jongho wraps his arms around his neck.

This feels good, too good even. Hongjoong knows he will regret this and he knows he will feel awful because Jongho doesn't like him but he doesn't care right now. He tilts his head and so does Jongho, the kiss slowly deepening. As Hongjoong slips his tongue into Jongho's mouth the younger tangles his fingers in his hair, a small whimper making its way out.

Hongjoong groans at the sound. He knows this is wrong but is it really? Jongho is an adult and he is sober as far as he knows, would it be so bad if they just tried _something_? He knows that Seonghwa is still very much in the room, almost right next to them but that doesn't stop him from slightly rocking his hips down. Jongho groans and slightly pulls at his his hair, urging him to do it again. And so Hongjoong does.

"Fuck, hyung..."

Jongho breathes out harshly as he parts away, pulling at the sleeves of Hongjoong's shirt when his hands fall from the leader's hair. The older groans, his hands sliding down the sides of the younger's body, tucking his head in the crook of Jongho's neck. He wants to feel more but he knows he can't. He knows he will never even have a chance to feel more. Jongho isn't and will never be his but he wants _something_.

"Jongho..."

He mumbles into the boy's neck, trying to get closer. Jongho suddenly grabs his hands and guides them under his shirt, sighing shakily at the contact. Hongjoong breathes in sharply. This is a bad idea. This is a really bad idea. What does the maknae even want him to do? How did they end up like this again?

"What about Seonghwa?"

He asks, his voice getting more quiet as he mentions his roommate, hoping he is still sleeping. Jongho chuckles breathlessly, turning his head to look at Hongjoong when he lifts his own. His eyes make the older swallow thickly, the smirk that appears on his face making his heart race.

"Let him see."

Jongho whispers and Hongjoong feels his body shake because of the words. He nods and leans back down, wanting to cover the entirety of Jongho's neck in hickeys. He knows it's a bad idea but at the same time he doesn't really care. He wants to be able to look at the maknae in the morning and remember everything that happened.

He wants Jongho to try and cover it so the others don't ask about it but he also wants him to show it off. He wants Jongho to proudly wear something that wouldn't get even close to covering his neck. But that won't happen and he knows it. Still, he wants Jongho's neck to be littered with bites and marks that he makes.

He grinds his hips against Jongho's, causing the boy under him to moan quietly. The hair on the back of his neck stands up and he repeats the action, harder this time, feeling Jongho's fingers tangle in his shirt and hair again.

"Ugh... can I tell you something?"

Jongho asks breathlessly and Hongjoong hums, trailing butterfly kisses along the younger man's jaw. Jongho clears his throat quietly, aware that if he is too loud he might wake Seonghwa up, and that wouldn't be good. He sighs shakily, his back arching off the bed as Hongjoong grinds down again.

"I l-like y-you."

He stutters and the leader's breath catches in his throat. He stops what he is doing, his eyes wide as he stares into the darkness. His heart is beating fast in his chest, the vocalist's words sinking in and imprinting on his brain. This couldn't be real. He must be dreaming. Jongho doesn't like him in real life. The younger groans, lifting his hips up.

"No... don't stop... just listen."

He says and Hongjoong nods, his thoughts mixing in his head. He doesn't know how to react. Everything is blending and he doesn't know whether he should be happy or concerned, maybe both at the same time. He tries to go back to nipping at the younger's neck but his words keep getting him unfocused.

"I've liked you for quite a while but I- _fuck_ , yeah keep doing that... _please_..."

He whines silently when Hongjoong bites down harshly, licking over the spot as an apology. The older grazes his teeth over the sensitive skin, enjoying the way Jongho's breath catches in his throat. The maknae groans again, sighing shortly after.

"I wanted to tell you but- but I was scared."

He says and Hongjoong's head spins for the nth time that night, Jongho's words making him feel light-headed. He should be happy but he can't help this awful feeling that's creeping up on him. Why does Jongho like him? Why him? What made him feel this way? His train of thought gets interrupted when the younger speaks up again.

"I thought that... you wouldn't like me back, or worse, hate me."

He says and Hongjoong finally lifts his head, hooded eyes staring deep into Jongho's softer ones.

"I could never."

He says lowly and the young vocalist frowns up at him, confusion washing over his features.

"What do you mean?"

He asks, the words barely above a whisper. Hongjoong sighs, he might as well cone clean about his own feelings since Jongho did. He never imagined himself telling the boy about his feelings at almost two in the morning, with him panting because he's been kissed breathless but here he is, doing exactly that.

He sighs again, deeper. He is afraid of his confession even if Jongho feels the same. It could become awkward, it could mean absolutely nothing, nothing could come out of it. What if he pours all of his feelings out and Jongho tells him he was just confused and he doesn't actually feel the same? He would still accept him but it would break him.

"I could never hate someone I have feelings for."

He says simply, deciding on not saying everything that is on his mind at the moment. Jongho's lips part and eyes shine in the beautiful moonlight, making Hongjoong's heart skip a beat or two.

"You... have feelings for..."

"I do."

Hongjoong admits, dropping his head. He doesn't know why he feels like this. He feels happy, overjoyed even, but also scared for a reason he can't explain. Jongho smiles softly before looking away, his eyes everywhere but on Hongjoong's.

"Does this mean we are... that we are... well..."

He mumbles and Hongjoong chuckles under his breath, shaking his head.

"Not yet."

He says quietly and Jongho finally looks at him in confusion again.

"Why not?"

He asks and Hongjoong cups his cheeks, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb tenderly.

"Can I take you out first?"

He questions playfully, their eyes widening when they hear Seonghwa's bed shift. Hongjoong quickly lays down next to Jongho, making him face him in hopes he would cover him if the oldest of their group woke up. Jongho smiles at him after a while, sighing together with the leader when no more noise is heard from Seonghwa's side of the room.

"I like you, hyung, I really do."

He tells the older man, leaning closer to press their foreheads together. Hongjoong smiles, the words finally making him feel calm. He shifts a little closer, tilting the boy's head up a little.

"Me too Jongho... so much..."

He whispers before leaning in, pressing a gentle kiss to the maknae's lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter? (ateezlvruwu)


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